You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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