At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
