I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
