My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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