How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
