sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
