I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
