would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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