Dual....:-)
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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