i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Also, beer. Big fan.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
