My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
True strength comes from lack of pants
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
