My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize