Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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