You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
