I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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