DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
