For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
do herpes really smell.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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