i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
