she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
