The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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