if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize