I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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