pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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