i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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