we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
