Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
