I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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