# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
