Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
smell my finger.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
