Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
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