After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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