Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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