do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
