I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
