I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
