so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
