we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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