i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
