oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize