I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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