Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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