I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
