and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
