Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
