we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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