I puked a lego.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
