no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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