i permit you to call me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
handjob tips. give me some.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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