i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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