apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
did you just send me my own nude
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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