i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I love you.
Bad choice
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