you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
They are going to name an STD after you.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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