Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
