yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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